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Saitama vs Sportacus
One Punch Man vs LazyTown. Which of these superhero masters of exercise will claim the title of the fittest? Will Saitama one punch his was to victory or will Sportacus save the day once again in this What-if Fanon Death Battle. Saitama vs Sportacus Thumbnail.png|My Thumbnail Saitama vs Sportacus Thumbnail (ZDogg667).jpeg|ZDogg667 Saitama vs Sporticus.PNG|ZDogg (v2) Interlude (Cue https://youtu.be/92H3Mscg7QQ) Avocado: Humans are generally lazy, unfit slobs who sit around all day and do nothing with their lives. chinq: And we can prove it too. "How?" you may ask? Because you're sitting here reading a fan made Death Battle instead of doing something productive with your life. Shame on you. Avocado: But these two superheroes show us why we should do the exact opposite. They show us the true benefits of eating healthy, doing lots of exercise and generally keeping fit better than any other hero. chinq: Well, you know, besides Captain America, Batman, Spider-Man, Iron fist... Avocado: Umm... Anyway... Saitama, the One Punch Man chinq: ... I guess arguments could be made for Thor, Superman, Hulk I guess... Avocado: Uhh... And Sportacus, the hero of LazyTown. He's captin chinq and I'm the MLG Avocado. And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Fanon Death Battle. chinq: ... Goku, Vegeta, Gohan... Death Battle card closes Saitama (Cue https://youtu.be/Fa7A0-OX5Uc?t=1637s) Avocado: Saitama was once an ordinary man, looking for a job. The day he managed to get an interview was truly the start of something great for him. chinq: ... I guess you could make arguments for Hercule Satan... Avocado: uhh... chinq? You still there? chinq: ... And if memory serves me right, there were 9 fitness based heroes before Sportacus came to LazyTown. Avocado: chinq! chinq: Oh, yeah? What's up? What are we doing? Avocado: We're at the point where we discuss how Saitama started something great on the day of his interview. chinq: What? Oh, right! I get you! Anyway, did Saitama get the job? Hell no. He failed the interview and was left jobless. This depressed him so much that he basically lost all of his will to live. Even to the point where he was willing to just stand still and get absolutely mauled by Crablante. The guy who turned into a crab because.... He ate too much crab... I swear, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Avocado: Crablante, seeing Saitama's dead eyes, spared him because he was actually hunting down a child with a ballsack chin who drew nipples on Mr Krabs over here while he was sleeping. chinq: So, of course, Saitama ends up running into this kid because plot. Avocado: Right at about the same time as Tamatoa did. chinq: Because plot. Avocado: This time, Saitama didn't get off so lightly. Because he dared to oppose Sebastian over here, good old Crawdaunt started beating the shit out of him. chinq: Which, of course, he survived. Because plot. Avocado: After getting knocked around, Saitama fought back. Even while beaten and bloody, he mustered up enough strength to wrap his tie around The Unnamed Crab From Finding Nemo's eye and rip it out of his body, along with a massive trail of organs and blood. Saitama had just won his first fight. chinq: This inspired him to work his way up to becoming the hero he had always dreamed of being. One that could finish all his enemies in-''' https://youtu.be/_TUTJ0klnKk?t=9s 'chinq: No, hold on. We're getting to that. Anyway, he wanted to be a hero that could stop any villain in just-' https://youtu.be/_TUTJ0klnKk?t=9s '''chinq: NO! Stop it damnit. I'll give you your cue. Avocado: Saitama started an intense workout routine. 100 PUSH UPS! 100 SIT UPS! 100 SQUATS! FOLLOWED BY A 10KM RUN EVERY DAY! ALWAYS HAVE 3 MEALS A DAY! AND DON'T USE HEATING OR AIR CONDITIONING! DO THIS EVERY DAY FOR 3 YEARS UNTIL YOU LITERALLY TRAIN SO HARD YOUR HAIR FALLS OUT! chinq: Aww, I wanted to say that part. Anyway, Saitama did this routine. After 3 years, he became so strong that he could finish almost all his foes in: ........ chinq: He could defeat all his foes in: ..... chinq: DAMNIT! THAT WAS YOUR CUE! (Cue https://youtu.be/_TUTJ0klnKk) chinq: Ok, there we go! Was that so hard? Avocado: After training so hard that he went bald, Saitama didn't stop. He's still going. So he can get even more powerful. But let's just go with what he's already shown. chinq: He may not be known as it in the series, but Saitama has definitely earned the title of One Punch Man. Avocado: Almost every enemy he fights goes down in a single attack. Whether they be Attack on Titan on strawberry flavoured steroids, some bitch with mosquitokinesis, Cosmic Squidward with gravity manipulation or a beetle literally bred and experimented on to be the perfect warrior, nobody is safe from the one punch wrath. chinq: He's resisted telekinetic attacks from Tataumaki who could casually stop bombs from Boros's ship that were string enough to wipe out a city. Avocado: He's massively beyond Genos who destroyed part of a mountain and was completely unneffected when Genos set of a massive explosion that stretched across 500 metres. And Genos is about on par with Speed of Sound Sonic. Saitama is casually able to keep up with and react to both of them in 1v1 fights. He was even able to bite through Sonic's sword too fast for him to see and can casually break a city sized meteor. It doesn't sound that impressive until you realise that Genos, even with new upgrades and Metal Knight's missiles couldn't even scratch the thing. chinq: in a single, casual jump, Saitama was able to leap down to the earth from the moon at sub-relativistic speeds, as well as creating a large crater on the moon's surface. Not to mention he survived being knocked up to the moon in the first place at near light speed as well as the vacuum of space. Avocado: Speaking of Boros, Saitama punched him fast enough to reduce him to just an eye and some blood and casually tanked attacks and took very little damage from second form Boros. For reference, even first form Boros, in armour meant to restrict him, has been stated in recent guidebooks to be powerful enough to destroy planets. Yeah. Whole planets. That's how strong we thought his final form was before. And Saitama can tank hits from his second form which is even stronger and still take with little damage. chinq: But all these feats we just mentioned. They're nothing. This is just a casual Saitama. When he gets serious, this is when you know you're gonna die. Avocado: When Saitama gets even slightly serious, he can sidestep fast enough to create multiple after images. The shockwaves from these sidesteps alone were enough to completely down Speed of Sound Sonic. He's also got insane stamina. It took an entire day of running around his city just to put him out of breath for a little while. chinq: And you better pray that he doesn't throw a serious punch at you. Saitama's serious punch is strong enough to nullify Boros's star busting attack, fittingly named the Collapsing Star Roaring Cannon. Avocado: Heh, I might as well call my new weapon the captin chinq destroyer. chinq: Wait, what are you planning? Avocado: Oh nothing. chinq: I've got my eye on you... Anyway, Saitama's serious punch nullified Boros's star busting attack. And the shockwaves were enough to completely bypass the guy's healing factor that let him regenerate from an eye and some blood. Then the shockwaves kept going and split the clouds all the way around the planet! And another presumably serious punch he did created shockwaves that obliterated a mountain! Avocado: Saitama also has some pretty cool techniques. His casual series has the single and consecutive normal punches which are self explanatory. The serious series has the serious punch, side hops and headbutt which are self explanatory and the serious table flip where he tears up a chunk of the land and send the debris everywhere. But though they're cool, there really isn't much to any of them. chinq: Unfortunately, just like that time I got drunk and woke up on the moon, wearing a sumo thong, Saitama may be cool, but he has his drawbacks. Avocado: What the hell kind of comparison was that? chinq: The less you know about my past, the better. Avocado: Umm... Anyway... Saitama is powerful, but he's not skilled. He has no martial arts training at all. And he has no proper techniques besides the table flip. Everything he classes as one of his techniques is just to hit harder and move faster. chinq: Saitma also very rarely fights back. He typically just lets opponents thrash him around for a while before he fights back. Even against planetary threats like Boros. And when he does fight back, he doesn't even put his all into his attacks. Avocado: Saitama also appears to be vulnerable to sharp objects. They're the only kind of attacks that he always avoids or blocks. chinq: The one time he did get slashed at and took it, he was physically irritated and had marks on his face. And this was just from a regular house cat. Imagine what would happen if Boros had claws. Avocado: Well, there's no solid confirmation saying that Saitama can be hurt easily by sharp attacks yet. So we can't use it against him for right now. And like any other human, Saitama does have physical limits. And his training did not upgrade his lungs to be able to breathe in space. chinq: Oh, also mosquitos. If you are a single mosquito, you are Saitama-proof. Avocado: But regardless of his flaws, Saitama is still ridiculously strong and insanely difficult to put down. He may not be known as it in the series, but he definitely lives up to the name of One Punch Man. Fanboy: Wait, but you didn't address how Saitama is limitless and can one shot literally everyone in fiction! Avocado: Sigh. You couldn't have just left it. I wanted to finish this segment on a high note, but no. You just had to show up and bring up the Saitama is limitless argument. chinq: No, don't get sucked into that debate. It's not worth it. Let's just move on to moustachio man. Avocado: You know what, sure, that sounds good. Fanboy: screeching https://youtu.be/ZKbO6lyheJs Death Battle card closes Sportacus chinq: You know what, before we even begin, I'm gonna give you the TL;DR version of this entire bio. LazyTown is the best anime. Sportacus has a sexy moustache and he hit an apple to the moon. Avocado: Well... Though Sportacus doesn't have as much to talk about, we still have to put effort into talking about him. chinq: Oh fuck, why did we agree to do this if it meant watching and researching LazyTown? Avocado: Just be glad he's got about as many feats as Goku has chances of beating Superman. chinq: Oooooh, shots fired. Ok, that was a good one. I'm in a good mood now. We can start this analysis. (Cue https://youtu.be/ZekWbivzOdA) Avocado: Welcome to LazyTown. A place where you'll wanna stay. chinq: You've only said one line and already my good mood is ruined. Avocado: Hehe. Anyway, this down, as the name implies, is basically known for being lazy. chinq: Like you! Sans: and me! chinq: NO GODDAMNIT! I HAD ENOUGH OF YOU LAST EPISODE! Avocado: Umm... Moving on... Fitness based superheroes would come to this town to try and make it more active and healthy. After the first 9 came and left for unknown reasons, LazyTown was back to being diabetes central once again. Because holy shit, not even superheroes literally showing up and getting these kids off their asses will leave an impact on their lives. The second they're gone, it's back to 25 hours of gaming a day. chinq: Isn't that how you spend basically every day? You just play Overwatch until either 1. Your controller battery dies. Or 2. Someone forcefully drags you away. Avocado: Uhh... Shut up. They just released a mode that gives every map low gravity! Of course I'm gonna play it! chinq: Goddamn Hanzo main... Anyway, a while after fitness hero number 9 left, another one came to save LazyTown, dawning a number 10 on his suit. This man's name was Sportacus. (Cue https://youtu.be/l949A95zId8) Avocado: Sportacus is a great hero. Saving LazyTown from the likes of Robbie Rotten time and time again. chinq: You say "save". But they're not in any real danger. Robbie never directly tries to harm the citizens of LazyTown. He just wants them to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Avocado: What are you saying? chinq: I'm saying that when these kids eat all this junk food that Robbie gives them, they're doing it of their own volition. He doesn't tell them to open wide and shove lollipops down their throats. And they never see through his obvious disguises. Really, Sportacus is only really "saving" these kids from their own goddamn stupidity. Avocado: Huh... Fair points. Anyway, Sportacus is extremely strong. With no sign of straining himself, he can hit an apple so hard that it goes to the moon at relativistic speeds. chinq: Wait, so he can attack at relativistic speeds? Damn, that's pretty fast. Avocado: Well, he can send projectiles at his enemies at relativistic speeds. Sportacus hasn't shown to be able to go that fast. For example, if someone hits a baseball so hard that it goes across an entire stadium in just a few seconds, that doesn't mean the regular human who hit the baseball could go that fast. chinq: Ok, fair enough. So before we go onto his actual speed, just how strong does that Apple swing make him? (Cue https://youtu.be/DDGSsQeSF98) Avocado: Well, Sportacus did it at near the top of the Earth's atmosphere. It travelled over 230000 miles, on top of escaping the gravity of earth and entering the gravity of the moon. This requires roughly 18391 tonnes of force to do. That's goddamn insane! That's enough power to destroy an entire city! chinq: And this kind of power is further backed up by the fact that he can hurt Robbie Rotten who survived a city level blast to the moon. Avocado: Speaking of Robbie Rotten, he's fast enough to travel roughly 2700 feet from the east of LazyTown to the centre in 2.6 seconds. Making him able to go at speeds of roughly 707 miles per hour. Why does this matter? Well, Sportacus is stated to be 22.7 times faster than Robbie Rotten. Through some simple multiplication, this means Sportacus can go at speeds exceeding 16000 miles per hour. That's over Mach 21. chinq: Holy crap! He's strong and fast. Not to mention hard to tire. Even though he can't go 8 goddamn seconds without backflipping or doing some kind of sporting exercise, we've never seen him get hired through natural means. Avocado: He's also got quite the Arsenal. He has all sorts of sporting equipment like baseball bats and footballs. chinq: Don't you mean soccer balls? Avocado: No. I don't. chinq: Oh... Well... He's also got a glider for extra manoeuvrability and flight. But when that doesn't work, he has his iconic Zeppelin. This Zeppelin is full of more sports equipment. Avocado: And more importantly, his backpack and Zeppelin contain plenty of fruit- chinq: Don't you mean Sports Candy? Avocado: Like I said, they contain plenty of fruit for him to eat. When he eats fruit, his stamina replenishes and he grows even stronger. Remember that Apple feat? Yeah, that was without the outside influence of fruit. He can become even stronger. chinq: That being said, even Sportacus and his sexy moustache have flaws. For starters, Sportacus is not exactly a fighter. He has no formal fighting training and has never been forced into the scenario of a fistfight. Avocado: And he's not at all used to taking hits. He was knocked flat on his ass when ran over by Stingy's little car and when he was hit by Robotacus. Granted, he wasn't injured or anything. But when he was caught off guard, he got knocked down very easily. chinq: Also, his biggest weakness is artificial sugar. Though natural sugar like from fruits won't harm him at all, artificial sugar like in a lollipop can severely weaken him and knock him unconscious. Though this can be reversed by feeding him fruit.''" Avocado: Despite his flaws, Sportacus is still a great hero who is always ready to save the day. https://youtu.be/PfYnvDL0Qcw '''Death Battle card closes Intermission (Cue https://youtu.be/92H3Mscg7QQ?t=25s) Avocado: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. chinq: It's time for a Fanon Death Battle! Death Battle card closes Pre-Fight (Cue https://youtu.be/UKyBm55q2es) Saitama is seen walking around LazyTown, trying to find his way around. Saitama: Where am I? Saitama continues walking around, but Robbie Rotten sees him through his periscope. Robbie: Another superhero? This can't be! How a, I supposed to keep this town lazy if superheroes keep showing up out of the blue? I'm going to need yo find some way to get this guy to leave. The camera cuts back to Saitama who is still walking around. Saitama: Maybe this place has a supermarket. I've been meaning to go shopping for groceries. Maybe I can get some good deals here. All of a sudden, Robbie Rotten shows up with a robot. Saitama turns and sees him. Saitama: Oh? What's this? Robbie: I've had Robotacus here for a while. I just didn't think I'd need to use him again. Saitama: You build robots? That's pretty cool. What does it do? Robbie: Either leave this town or you'll find out first hand. Saitama: Oh, is it a fighting robot? Because if so, send it my way. I've been looking for a good challenge. Robbie: It is now! And just know, you asked for this. Robotacus, attack! Robotacus charges at Saitama and throws a punch. But Saitama easily grabs its arm before it can hit him. He then snaps it like a toothpick. Saitama: Sigh. Yup. Just as I thought. (Cue https://youtu.be/rf2ICcDLuws) Saitama throws a light punch at Robotacus, but even his "light" punch hitting Robotacus's head created shockwaves that shattered every window in town and could be felt by the kids playing in the park on the other side of town. Up in Sportacus's Zeppelin, his suit's alarm starts going off. Sportacus: Someone's in trouble! Sportacus does his signature poses, then jumps out of his Zeppelin and activates his glider. Meanwhile, Robbie Rotten is standing in awe at the punch Saitama just threw at his creation. Saitama: Oops. I guess I hit it too hard. Does this town have spare windows? I don't have to pay for all of that, right? Sportacus arrives on his glider. Sportacus: What's happening here? Robbie realises his chance to have the heroes fight and have one of them get offed. Robbie: This guy showed up and started causing trouble Sportaflop. Sportacus: It's Sportacus. Robbie: Sportaflapjack. You need to stop him. He's out of control. Sportacus looks at Saitama. Sportacus: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Or I will have to make you. Saitama: Make me? What, will you fight me? Sportacus: If I must, then yes. Saitama: Well, on the grounds that I'm hoping to be challenged, I'm going to ask for that fight. Sportacus (Thinking): Oh no. This could be bad. I've never had to fight before. Saitama: So are you in or not? Sportacus: Well I want to protect this town. So I guess I'm gonna have to. Saitama: Ok. Let's begin. Robbie Rotten dives behind a bush. (Cue https://youtu.be/jjyTzL6sxdQ) Fight Sportacus charges at Saitama and throws a punch, but Saitama is unaffected. Saitama: Please tell me that's not all you've got in you. Sportacus: Not even close. Apple! Saitama: Sorry, what? An apple flies out of Sportacus's backpack. Sportacus: Baseball bat! A baseball bat flies out of Sportacus's backpack. He then grabs it and smashes the apple towards Saitama. Saitama knocks it away without batting an eye. Saitama: Wait... Damnit, I could've eaten that. Sportacus then calls for another apple which he launches at Saitama. This time, Saitama grabs it and takes a bite. Saitama: Mmm. Fresh produce. And it's free. Where can I get one of those things on your back? Sportacus: How did he just catch that? I hit it as hard as I could! Saitama: I guess it just wasn't enough. Sportacus: I need more power. Apple! An apple flies out of Sportacus's backpack. Saitama: I thought you'd have figured out by now that hitting apples at me won't work. Sportacus: Oh, I'm not gonna hit this one at you. Sportacus grabs the apple and eats it. Sportacus: This should be enough strength. The number 10 on Sportacus's chest starts glowing. Saitama: ... Ok. Sportacus: Durian! A durian flies out of Sportacus's backpack. He then hits it at Saitama. Saitama: Dude, hitting fruit at me isn't going to work. Saitama grabs the durian and crushes it. Saitama: Did you honestly think that would work? Sportacus appears behind him. Sportacus: It's called a diversion. (Cue https://youtu.be/458wL2Va2jg) Sportacus hits Saitama in the head with his baseball bat as hard as he can. So hard that shockwaves can be felt through all of LazyTown and his bat breaks. Saitama is revealed to still have been unaffected. Saitama: Was that all you had. Sportacus: N... No.... Saitama raises an eyebrow. (Cue https://youtu.be/Z96ModuOAQY) Sportacus: Y... Yes... Saitama: Sigh. Go figure. I thought I'd actually get a challenge here. But apparently not. Sportacus: Wait... What are you doing? Saitama: Goodbye. Saitama turns around and starts walking away. Sportacus: Huh... I guess that's that... Robbie: No... They both survived? I can't let this happen. Right as Sportacus is about to call on his Zeppelin to drop the ladder, Robbie Rotten jumps out if the bush. Robbie: Sportaflop, he told me he was going to destroy LazyTown! You can't let this happen! Sportacus: Wait, really? Robbie: Yes! You have to save us! Sportacus: I won't let it happen. Golf club! A golf club flies out of Sportacus's backpack. He then grabs it and charges at Saitama. Right as he's about to hit Saitama, Saitama turns around and punches him in the jaw. The punch launches Sportacus into the nearest wall. He's still alive, just unconscious. Saitama: Well, thankfully I learned from my mistake when I fought that robot and didn't hit him too hard this time. Saitama turns to Robbie Rotten. Saitama: And you. Robbie: M-... Me? Saitama: Try that shit again and you'll end up like your robot buddy. You've been warned. Robbie: Y- yes sir. Saitama: Now go make sure the moustache guy is ok. I'm leaving. Robbie: And if I don't? Saitama raises his fist. Robbie: Gulp. Yes sir! Saitama: Good. I'm going now. Goodbye. In a single jump, Saitama leaps out of LazyTown and off into the distance. Robbie: Wow... I need to lie down. K.O The kids of LazyTown are seen trying to help Sportacus recover. Saitama is still leaping through the sky, trying to find his way home. Results (Cue https://youtu.be/IUf-aWyQHi8) chinq: And Saitama still lives up to the name of One Punch Man. Avocado: Yup. The caped baldy is our victor, but let's be real here. Who did you expect? Sportaflop? chinq: Die. Avocado: Besides intelligence, there really wasn't any category that Sportacus could potentially take over Saitama. chinq: Yeah. Unfortunately, Avocado won't let me have Sportacus win because apparently "Having a sexy moustache doesn't cancel out completely superior stats.". He really needs to learn basic debating. Avocado: No. Saitama has the stats to blow Sportacus completely out of the water. Sportacus's apple launching feat does show he has the force needed to level cities, but Saitama nullifying Boros's beam proves he has the force needed to obliterate entire stars. But if the newest guidebook didn't convince you, fine. He's still at the absolute very bare downplayed minimum strong enough to destroy the entire crust of the earth. chinq: Yeah... And while Sportacus's Mach 21 speeds are great and all, Saitama can go at relativistic speeds with little effort, as shown when he jumped form the moon to earth. Avocado: Sportacus has no formal fighting experience, but Saitama has been a fighting hero for over 3 years. chinq: Sportacus did have his fruit supply to keep himself healed up, but it really wasn't enough when Saitama has the force to end him in a single attack, while Sportacus's city busting levels of power wouldn't even be enough for Saitama to feel anything. Avocado: If one hit from Robotacus could put Sportacus on his ass, even if he was caught off guard, what do you think is going to happen when the guy who can destroy the planet, casually move at relativistic speeds and fights monsters for a living throws a punch at him? chinq: Yeah. Sportacus just wasn't fit to win this one. Avocado: The winner is Saitama https://youtu.be/HI6d65zPox4 Death Battle card closes Next Time Avocado: Next time on Death Battle https://youtu.be/np8SjpJYGeU https://youtu.be/lq5bHZHORWE Please note that the Goku vs Superman joke was just that. A joke. We haven't researched deeply into either character and most feats I have been told of either wank or downplay either or both characters to an extent. Category:MLG Avocado Category:"Anime/Manga vs Cartoon" Themed Death Battles Category:Human vs Human themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:One Punch Man vs LazyTown themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:'Anime/Manga vs TV Shows' themed Death Battles Category:'Protagonist' themed Death Battle Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Hero' Themed Death Battle Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2017 Category:Death Battles with Music